Thursday, February 2, 2012

Hello Again!

Yikes, I haven't been around here to update my blog in what seems like ages!  I've had a lot going on lately and don't really know where to start...

Work is work and it consumes me.  I have been working the two jobs for the past few months now and when I think about it, it feel like the two have split into four.  I'm covering for a co-worker who went out on maternity leave a bit sooner than expected.  So, that put me into a whirlwind earlier than expected and I basically do the work of two people now.  She's expecting a baby boy on February 18th, but it sounds like he'll be coming sooner!  So happy for her :)

As for my other job, I'm still working 12-hour night shifts on weekends at the hospital.  I've been working nearly every Friday OR Saturday night for the past couple of months now since one of my co-workers there has been out on leave after foot surgery.  So, needless to say, I'm beat.  Averaging 52 hour work-weeks leaves virtually no room for a social life but hey, it's money!  I'm still stashing away for a house, which I hope to start actively looking at them later this year. 

In other news, last night I met up with an "Internet friend" who I never actually met in real life before last night.  So, we orchestrated a "date" at the Hog's Breath Inn here where I live.  Liz was gracious enough to drive out to me so that was fantastic.  She's such a sweet girl and I'm so very lucky to have had the opportunity to meet her.  Even more fantastic is the fact that her and her husband are in the process of adoption.  I wish them all the best and pray that they have a precious bundle very soon.  They deserve it so much!  Here's a picture of us at dinner.

Liz and I actually met on a website which subsequently became a group of infertiles who all struggled to have children.  I was in that boat once...well, the struggling to have a baby part anyway.  I'm obviously not actively trying anymore but sadly, I'll always be an infertile.  Just an unfortunate part of our lives but I really must say that some great friendships have evolved from that website.  For that, I'm truly greatful.

In related news, it seems I had an actual menstrual cycle recently.  Complete with ovulation and all.  Not such big news for someone without a fertility problem, but for me, it was a small victory.  I also received the results of my lab work from the Naturopath doctor I've been seeing.  As it turns out, my thyroid is fine but my cortisol levels are relatively low.  That would explain the lack of energy I was experiencing.  Also, my testosterone levels are extremely high.  That's pretty common with PCOS, however, I didn't expect a level well over 100 when the upper limit of normal is 55.  BUT, I am continuing on with the supplement and vitamin routine that the Naturopath carved out for me.  It might be the reason for me actually cycling on my own last month.  Not to mention, I feel better and have lots more energy, despite my always hectic schedule.

So, lots of progress here.  Even baby steps get you to the finish line and I'm always fine with baby steps.  Until next time, bloggers!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

A New Year, A New Me!

So the title is cliche but I'm saying it anyway!  Happy 2012 to all, I hope it's a great year to come!

Christmas here in my neck of the woods was wonderful.  It was just my mom and I, and my "boyfriend" (I hate that word because it seems so juvenile) stopped by for dinner and gifts.  We celebrated on Christmas Eve since I worked from 7 am to 7 pm on Christmas Day.  It's so hard to believe that this was Christmas #2 without my ex-husband.  I hate putting things in perspective like that but sometimes you just can't not think about those kinds of things, ya know?

Anyway, my New Year's Eve consisted of dinner and a movie with my guy.  I'm not much of a "goer outer" type in general, but particularly so on New Year's Eve with all the crowds and drunks and crazy drivers.  So, we made it a nice evening at his house with homemade lasagna.  Wild times, I know!

I can't say that 2011 was a good year.  I would rank it a solid 5 on a scale of 1 to 10.  It started out rough, adjusting to being alone again, adjusting to life back in California and adjusting to not having anything that was familiar.  However, it did bring good fortune in the form of employment which I am so thankful for in this pitiful economy with so many out of work. 

I really feel for some of my friends both on-line and in real life who, sadly, so many lost people in their lives.  Some lost their partners, friends, children and self-worth along the way too.  Those types of tragedies really break my heart and hit so close to home.  A couple of weeks ago marked the 10 year anniversary of a pregnancy that I lost.  It was an unplanned pregnancy, but certainly not unwanted.  Perhaps it was my first and only pregnancy that I will ever endure and that thought just eats me to the core some days, so I try my best to block it out.  In fact, I don't share this part of my life with many, so, if you're reading this with your jaw open because you had no idea, I'm sorry for the shock factor.  Finding out just days before Christmas and then suffering a miscarriage just days after New Years Day was not how I ever envisioned my life at the age of 24.  Later that year, I went on to graduate from College with my Bachelor's Degree.  I went skydiving.  I left a boyfriend.  I moved.  And, I went on to become the person that I am today.  I take nothing for granted and live every moment to the fullest.  You just have to.

I'm certainly hoping 2012 is a better year than 2002 was.  And the odds are definitely in my favor that this year will most certainly be better than 2010 and 2011.  I just don't think it's possible to get any worse!  I'm not the New Year's Resolution type (mostly because I never hold to them) but this year I will try my best and hardest to be a happier, more optimistic and loving person.  It's time I let go of the past, live in the present and love like I've never loved before.  It's the only thing left to do.

Happy New Year friends!  Here's to a wonderful 2012 for us all...