Sunday, January 1, 2012

A New Year, A New Me!

So the title is cliche but I'm saying it anyway!  Happy 2012 to all, I hope it's a great year to come!

Christmas here in my neck of the woods was wonderful.  It was just my mom and I, and my "boyfriend" (I hate that word because it seems so juvenile) stopped by for dinner and gifts.  We celebrated on Christmas Eve since I worked from 7 am to 7 pm on Christmas Day.  It's so hard to believe that this was Christmas #2 without my ex-husband.  I hate putting things in perspective like that but sometimes you just can't not think about those kinds of things, ya know?

Anyway, my New Year's Eve consisted of dinner and a movie with my guy.  I'm not much of a "goer outer" type in general, but particularly so on New Year's Eve with all the crowds and drunks and crazy drivers.  So, we made it a nice evening at his house with homemade lasagna.  Wild times, I know!

I can't say that 2011 was a good year.  I would rank it a solid 5 on a scale of 1 to 10.  It started out rough, adjusting to being alone again, adjusting to life back in California and adjusting to not having anything that was familiar.  However, it did bring good fortune in the form of employment which I am so thankful for in this pitiful economy with so many out of work. 

I really feel for some of my friends both on-line and in real life who, sadly, so many lost people in their lives.  Some lost their partners, friends, children and self-worth along the way too.  Those types of tragedies really break my heart and hit so close to home.  A couple of weeks ago marked the 10 year anniversary of a pregnancy that I lost.  It was an unplanned pregnancy, but certainly not unwanted.  Perhaps it was my first and only pregnancy that I will ever endure and that thought just eats me to the core some days, so I try my best to block it out.  In fact, I don't share this part of my life with many, so, if you're reading this with your jaw open because you had no idea, I'm sorry for the shock factor.  Finding out just days before Christmas and then suffering a miscarriage just days after New Years Day was not how I ever envisioned my life at the age of 24.  Later that year, I went on to graduate from College with my Bachelor's Degree.  I went skydiving.  I left a boyfriend.  I moved.  And, I went on to become the person that I am today.  I take nothing for granted and live every moment to the fullest.  You just have to.

I'm certainly hoping 2012 is a better year than 2002 was.  And the odds are definitely in my favor that this year will most certainly be better than 2010 and 2011.  I just don't think it's possible to get any worse!  I'm not the New Year's Resolution type (mostly because I never hold to them) but this year I will try my best and hardest to be a happier, more optimistic and loving person.  It's time I let go of the past, live in the present and love like I've never loved before.  It's the only thing left to do.

Happy New Year friends!  Here's to a wonderful 2012 for us all...