Hey friends!  I'm squeezing in an update here on this restful Sunday off!  I can't remember exactly where I left off last (and am too lazy to go check) but I survived my first week at the new job.  It was sort of chaotic as first weeks on the job usually are, but I'm learning quickly so that's a relief.  I've managed to score a few extra days on the schedule at my other job so I'll be working Thanksgiving and Christmass (boo!) and a few more days over the weekends as well.  It's definitely A LOT on my plate but it keeps me super busy and the extra money to buy a house will be sooooo nice!  Let's just hope I don't burn out quickly but for the time being, it will be manageable.

I saw a Naturopath for the first time a couple of weeks ago.  We went over a ton of things, mainly this persisting lack of energy/moodiness feeling over the past few months and she suspects that I may have a thyroid problem to some degree.  So, she loaded me up with some vitamins and supplements to take, as well as a shot of B-12 which supposedly helps with energy and mood stability.  I was sent off with a test kit which will test my hormones.  It uses saliva samples instead of blood.  The samples are collected 4 times during the course of a day (since hormone levels fluctuate throughout the day) and then when all 4 are collected, I seal up the kit and mail it to the lab.  Pretty cool stuff!  Anyway, the results take about 2 weeks and they will call me to go over the results and we'll go from there.

In the world of school, I got an e-mail about a week ago with the next test date for the oral comprehensive exam.  As luck would have it, it's December 12th, right in between the crazy holidays!  Needless to say, I wasn't too thrilled to have to coordinate the Holidays, a new job, an old job and the biggest test of my life all during the same time, so I blew off the e-mail until I could reach a decision.  After going back and forth with it, I've decided to tell them I will not be able to make the December 12th date and will wait until next year for a new test date.  I agonized over that decision but it's just the best decision for me at this point.  I need to save myself from insanity and adding more to my plate at this moment just isn't a wise thing to do.  Not to mention, I don't want to make the same mistake twice and fail this thing a second time because of lack of preparedness/time to study.  I have to say I feel like the weight has been lifted.  I can focus on work for the time being and maybe even have some time to actually look forward to the Holidays! 

Oh, this weekend marks the one year anniversary of me being back in California.  I just can't believe how much time flies.  It's just crazy to think about...

Have a Happy Thanksgiving friends!

Bumbling Updates - OMG it's November!

Hello, friends!  I cannot believe it's November already!  Every year goes by faster and faster as you age but this was ridiculously fast.  I've been living back in California now for nearly a year to the day and things are finally looking up for me.

Starting next Monday, November 14th, I'll have a new job at a local Country Club!  It's ironic because it's with the same Country Club I interviewed with back in July but got turned down when they chose someone else.  Well, yesterday they called me out of the blue and explained how a brand new position has just opened up and they remembered me and thought I would be a perfect fit.  It's nice to know that there are some decent, thoughtful people out there because let me tell you, I've been through the ringer numerous times this year with sketchy interviews/companies.  Anyhow, they offered the position to me on the spot so I start next week!

I plan to keep my other job at the hospital and tell them I will only be available on weekends.  I make a decent enough salary there to justify not leaving.  Plus, I need to earn and save everything I can if I want to make it to my house-buying goal next year.  So, this should work out *fingers crossed*.  I'll likely have little free time and working weekends will interfere with a social life (or current lack-thereof anyway) but I'm the type that works better with more on my plate.

In other news, I took it upon myself to find a Naturopath who specializes in hormone therapy and treatments.  Lately, I have been so up and down hormonal that I just feel like something is wrong that is just exacerbating this PCOS condition.  So, I have that initial 90 minute consultation tomorrow which I suspect will be very similar to the initial consult with the Reproductive Endocrinologist last year.  At this point, I'm just looking to be healthier, feel less hormonal, and perhaps even find ways to regulate cycles that have always plagued me one way or another.

I'll update again when I can.  Although, I expect the next few weeks to be hectic with work and the upcoming Holidays - yikes!  Hope everyone is doing well and looking forward to the Holiday season!

I'll add a little photo that I took this morning just to give you an idea of where I live.  In the background are the San Jacinto mountains which are just about a 25 minute drive to the base of the mountains.  Below that is Palm Springs.  One of the things I missed about living in the South was the lack of mountains/hills.  Makes for a really tough sense of direction!  Anyway, this is where I live and it can be so beautiful :)

October Fun!

Can you believe it's October already?!  Where has this year gone?!  As of today, we're finally seeing some mild temperatures which for here, in the desert, means temps in the double digits instead of triple.  As much as I'm a summer girl and love warm weather, I can safely say I'm ready now for Fall!

A very close friend of mine just flew into town today and is staying for the week.  Unfortunately, I won't be able to see her until Friday after work but I'm very much looking forward to it!  It will be nice to do some catching up and spend time together, especially since she just went through ( or shall I say 'going through') a recent break-up with a long term partner.  She was truly there for me to give support and encouragement through my divorce so I'll try like hell to return the favor for such a wonderful friend that she has been over the past 10 years.

In other non-related, graphic news, I have a bit of a dilemma currently in the world of 'woman-hood'.  I seem to have a mysterious period currently that has warranted a bit of extra concern.  Skip forward here if you believe in such a thing as 'too much information' or 'TMI'.  I've passed extremely large blood clots over the past couple of days in conjunction with some heavier than usual cramps.  I typically have non-eventful periods but for some reason, this one is like a wrecking ball straight to the girly bits.  I'm going to wait it out a day or two and see what happens but if this massacre type activity continues, I may pay a trip to the ER.  With PCOS, it's likely that's part of the culprit and a period every now and then that is out of the norm is probably typical so it's not too much of a concern yet.  At least...I can still function, that is.

As for my previous blog entry about my apparent 'smothering' episode, I'm fairly certain that is over now.  Maybe it was a moment of weakness or perhaps the PMS-like gibberish that spews forth from one's mouth when the period from hell is about to start, hell, I don't know but it's over now.  We had a great talk, and I do mean GREAT (thank you to my wonderful family therapist I saw last year who helped me to truly speak my feelings) and things are back on course with my man and I.  I just can't begin to explain how lucky I am to have him in my life.  He's so supportive despite my rollercoaster-type of ups and downs this year and I truly love that he's always there for encouragement and support.  Far more than I could ever ask for someone to be in the past. 

Oh, I've forgotten to mention this in the past few blog entries but there are some blogs that I read that I just cannot seem to comment on!  It drives me nuts!  So, if you don't seem to hear much from me, then I probably just cannot leave a comment on your blog.  Poo.  I'm so sorry but I truly try to keep up with you and the happenings in your lives.  That's all for now, friends!

Smothered Hash Browns, Yes Please! Smothered Relationship, No Thank You!

I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the Waffle House restaurant, but it's quite popular down South and in parts of the Eastern Coast.  It's a cheap and dirty equivalent of IHOP, yet in my experience, it tastes much better after a late night out bar-hopping than it actually does for sober breakfast purposes.  Anyhow, they have an option there to serve their hashbrowns "covered and smothered" where they basically throw everything on there except the kitchen sink.  Quite tasty at 2am when the buzz is wearing off and you're about 47 minutes away from passing straight out.  However, I like my hasbrowns this way, but definitely NOT my relationships...


When one goes from the busy dating pool, to marriage at 27, and then back to the dating pool at age 32, it's a bit confusing to say the least.  I've found that the real challenge now that I've plunged off the high-dive back into the pool is finding the balance between maintaining my personal life (i.e. work, school, friendships, day-to-day grind, etc.) with a healthy relationship.  Seems easy enough in theory, right?  I mean, in my early twenties, I managed to hold down TWO jobs, full-time college courses, mild partying, friends, AND a boyfriend quite effortlessly.  Allbeit, I can guarantee I didn't sleep much, if hardly at all, and to what degree those "relationships" were healthy and stable is highly questionable.  So, I guess this post is more to seek advice than anything else because after consulting a few of my IRL female friends on this topic, I still feel bewildered by it all.


I've been dating someone now for the past four months.  I was set up with him by my mom who works at the same company he does.  Mind you, I was VERY apprehensive about dating at the time she set me up but I trusted that my mom (of all people) wouldn't steer me wrong with some loser, so I went with it.  Well, guess what?  He's everything she said he was and more!  Great, huh?  Now you're thinking "so what's there to complain about?". 


Well, truth be told, as the title suggests, I feel a bit 'smothered' here lately.  It's not that his intentions aren't good because trust me, they are!  However, I've always been a very independent person and my philosophy on dating is that you can have a healthy relationship without constant bombardment of personal space.  In fact, I'm the type that would rather see my SO maybe 1-2 times per week and talk on the phone maybe 2-3 times per week - anything more than that and it's a bit overwhelming in my book.  Sounds reasonable, right?  I'm by no means a needy person whatsoever and expect the same trait in my SO.  However, he calls me at least once a day, sometimes twice a day.  And, he would like to see me every day if he had it his way.  I don't know if it's just me, or if this is a bit excessive?  I feel a lot of pressure to keep up with this sort of "schedule" but sometimes I feel like it's just my own personal struggle.  It's not that he's checking up on me or acting posessive or whatnot, he's just quite honestly thinking of me and so picks up the phone to call and say "hi" - simple as that.  I enjoy the excitement of relationships and he completely adores me and complements me every day but quite honestly, I'm not used to that!  I'm a firm believer in the notion that a new relationship does not have to consume your every moment and transform the person that you are.  I'm a realist and quite frankly, I've watched too many friends fall into the "I have a new boyfriend and now I'm dropping everything for him" routine - blech!  I don't know how they allow that to happen as just that thought alone makes me suffocate a little on the inside.  I mean, come on.  Day-to-day life still exists, I still work, have obligations, school, friendships to maintain, etc. so I don't feel the need to make a dating relationship the root of my essence.  Know what I mean?  I think the problem here is that he enjoys making me the center of his entire universe while I'm, quite simply, just not like that.  And now that I've typed out the previous sentence, I'm really not even sure if you can even call it a "problem" to begin with.


Now that you're thoroughly confused and this post has turned into a novel, I just basically am torn with where I stand.  Are my 'smothered' feelings validated?  I know I need to sit down with him and let him know how I feel but I've played it over in my head and am beginning to realize that there's no easy or graceful way of saying "ok, buddy, I need some space, let's slow down..oh, and don't call me so much" without sounding like an unappreciative B*.  Or is there a way?  I honestly never dreamed I'd be sitting here blogging about a relationship where I'm actually complaining about getting doted on too much - typically in the past I've had relationships where I'm teetering on the last rung of the ladder so it was always a non-issue.  Now, I'm at the top of his priorities and yet, I'm feeling strangely overwhelmed.  Is this legit?  Don't get me wrong, I fully and completely appreciate his attentiveness and loyalty, believe me, I do!  I went too many years feeling like an afterthought so I'm thrilled to be at the forefront of someone's concerns.  However, I'm just a bit rusty with dating and well, having trouble figuring it all out again.  Advice?

//SIGNED//
Uncovered Hashbrown

Photo Shoot Faves

So, here's some of the photos from the shoot with Amy a couple of weeks ago.  I uploaded most of them to my Facebook but I'll put a few here that I didn't share there.  I don't want to sound self-absorbed or conceited or whatnot but, I'm so, so, so glad I had this done!  This past year has been an emotional train wreck for me and despite the stress-induced weight loss, I've had a lot of trouble finding ME again and I seem to have lacked the ability to feel good about myself which is VERY unlike me.  So, please understand I don't go around "posing" in front of cameras on the regular, but my expressions and emotions captured in these photographs are very true and real and genuine.  And that...I'll cherish forever.  Enjoy!

I can't emphasize enough just how much fun I had at this shoot.  Not only did I get some great photos but my photographer Amy, is truly one of the sweetest people I've ever met!  She made me feel so comfortable and warm and, well, like ME again!  So, a million thank-you's to her and her husband Mike for watching baby Jackson for 45 minutes while we went off galivanting into the "woods" to capture these photographs.  Memories made, indeed, and I hope to remain great friends with her!!

Until next time, bloggers...

 

House Hunting & Other New Adventures

Ok, so the title of this entry may be somewhat misleading but it's fun to dream, right?  Actually, I said earlier this year that one of my next goals is to buy a house or condo and that's still very much on my radar.  How soon it will happen, is probably a little farther off the radar than I would hope.  Ever watch Suze Orman?  She's that financial analyst/guru and does a great job on her TV show of picking people's financial situation apart and telling them "no" when they want to buy something that's just not 1) smart 2) feasible and/or 3) realistic.  *Sigh*.  Well, Suze would pick me apart for my desire to own a home without the lump sum to put down or the 8 month "emergency fund" you need in case something goes awry.  However, I digress.  How can you NOT dream when the housing market is at an all time low?  I mean, houses in the area I'm looking at easily went for $350k+ a few years ago.  And now...listings for those same houses at $200k or less!  Talk about crazy exciting!  We'll see what I conjure up over the next 6 months or so...

In other related news, my mom has enlightened me on a business opportunity that is worthy of further investigation.  Through a contact of hers at work, she learned a little about running, owning and operating a private Courier service.  Since her company (and so many other companies out there now) are downsizing, hiring less, cross-training employees to other positions, "leaning" out their resources and people etc., many businesses have turned to external Courier services as a means for transporting their documents, equipment, people and more.  It's a simple premise, really.  You drive said items from one location to another, from client to recipient's destination.  The start-up for this is nearly nothing.  Literally, all that is needed is a reliable vehicle, a cellular phone and access to a computer/printer.  Needless, to say, the room for profit and the next-to-nothing start-up cost is very appealing.  I've purchased some resources that give further instruction on how to start-up a Courier service and where to go from there.  With school still looming (for another couple of months, anyway) and work, I may put this on a short hold but after that, I really plan to go full steam with it.  It's exciting to me and well, doesn't everyone want to be their own boss?  I sure do!

That's about it for my latest news.  Of course, I'll come back and revisit these two main topics on the agenda in a few months and see where I'm at with each of them.  As one of the world's worst procrastinators, you, my readers must cattle prod me and see me through!  

As mentioned in my previous blog entry, I had a photo shoot with Southern California's greatest, most talented photographer and friend, Amy.  Meeting her, her husband Mike and sweet baby boy Jackson was the highlight of these past 6 months or so.  I'm so thrilled I got the chance to meet up with her and take some amazing photographs that I'll treasure forever.  I'll post a glimpse of those when I receive the CD so stay tuned! 

Bouncing Back

I've been looking back at past blog entries and realized that I sort of have the "peak" and "valley" affect when it comes to my blog entries.  One is happy, the next...not so much!  I assure you, I have a pretty great life overall so I don't mean to be such a Debbie Downer at times.  I'm just my own worst critic, I guess, so sometimes I tend to be a little hard on myself.  Onward and upward...

Anyway, I cannot believe how quickly this year has gone by!  I mean, it's nearly September already!!  September was a rough month for me last year and to say I went through a wave of emotions last September would be putting it mildly.  It's been nearly a year to the day since Bobby and I separated so I can't help but notice that.  It's also been 9 months since I moved back to my home state of California which I'm still so happy about.  After moving around the country for the past 8 years, I'm finally home again.  I've gotten the chance to visit family and friends which is really so nice.  I used to long for the days of being able to take a quick drive to see them and used to dread arranging plane tickets and coordinating time off work just to do that but now I don't have to sweat it.  I'm so thankful!

Work is going well.  I'm still classified as a Per Diem employee which is basically a fancy word for Part Time but as luck would have it, I've been able to pick up extra shifts so technically I've been working Full Time hours.  Even better is the possibility of going to Full Time here soon pending a coworker's resignation from her position to move to Santa Barbara with her boyfriend.  I'm already next in line for her spot since my boss has already asked me if I want it.  Do I want it?  Ha!  Does a bear sh*t in the woods?  Of course I want it!  I'm also loving the idea that their health insurance is through Blue Cross so it's awesome insurance but best of all, it's free for employees and dependants!  Yet another expense spared so that's a double bonus.

In other news, I have arranged for a photo shoot with an E-friend of mine, Amy, who is an excellent photographer!  She lives not too far from me and we have arranged for a photo shoot on September 4th.  I'm beyond thrilled to meet her in person and feel so priviledged to have her as my photographer.  I scored a dress today for the shoot which I think will work well.  It's been so long since I've had professional pictures done so this is loooong overdue!  It's time I do something for me, ya know?  Plus, I've been working semi hard at losing weight over the past year and a half and now I feel like showing it off a bit.  27 pounds and still losing.  Not to shabby, eh?  I feel GREAT!